Continuing onward from “The YOU Network”, let’s move on to the seventh (and most important) “self”: The core self.
Why didn’t I include this one with the rest? Well, unlike the six selves of “The YOU Network”, the seventh does not deal with WHAT we desire/want/need (a new car, a sultry lover, better coping mechanisms…). It instead defines WHY we want these things; HOW we want these things. It is the motivating force behind the desires that manifest the six selves. It is also our status quo.
The core self is the foundation of who we are, what we think,why we do the things we do. It includes powerful intangibles like confidence, passion, spirituality, beliefs, durability, standards, and moral code. It is at the heart of ourselves, a fruit of nature and nurture, and as such, a part of each aspect of “The YOU Network” as well as the center of the network itself.
The strength of one’s core self governs their capacity to function in the world. In other words, the more you know who you are, the more you know what you want. The more you know what you want, the greater the chances of you being able to have it. A strong core is crucial to becoming the ideal self, not only because it can solidify your desires, but also because it will sustain you when things don’t work out and give you the drive to try again.
An example: Let’s take the extracurricular self’s desire to join a weekend volleyball team.
Person A, someone in peak physical condition with all the athletic skill in the world, marches into the gym for volleyball tryouts only to find out that they’d misread the email and tryouts had ended thirty minutes before. Person A, someone with a weak core, is devastated. The failure to act in time results in them feeling a sort of invasive sadness that, in turn, spreads to the other five selves. They’re not so good at work that day. They don’t connect to their lover. They won’t try for another team that starts later in the summer. A strong desire on a weak core is like balancing a boulder on a toothpick. If that desire teeters and falls, the core is shattered and thus the entire network takes a hit.
Let’s put strong-cored Person B in the same situation. Are they upset? Of course. But with the strong core comes the idea that “life happens.” Mistakes were made, but no amount of anger will change that. They still know who they are. They still have a good job, a loving lover, plus there’s another team that starts in a few months and they’ll make extra certain they are there in time. There’s nothing better than a strong core to accept the unexpected and then adapt to it. The act of adapting only makes the core stronger, more resilient, than it was before.
A weak core perpetuates its own weakness. A strong one, own strengths. And the unexpected makes sure that growth continues in new directions.
Posts on change, the unexpected, and more in-depth takes on the other six selves to follow…